A Lack of Cake
by HecateA
Summary: In which Remus and Tonks have about 43 minutes to plan a surprise party but Remus can't focus. Oneshot.


**Author's Note: **Listen friends, if you all thought you were getting spammed with these Remus/Dora fics, just you wait now that there's only 24 hours left to push them into the spot they needed to win the first scrimmage of this Shipping War.

**Disclaimer: **The following characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and this story derives from her original works, storylines, and world. Please do not sue me, I can barely pay tuition.

**Warnings: **Characters preparing for war, fleeing persecution

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**Stacked with: **MC4A; Terms of Services; Shipping War

**Individual Challenge(s): **Gryffindor MC; Hufflepuff MC; Bow Before the Blacks; Golden Times; Brush; Seeds; Ways to the Heart; Old Shoes; Team Player; In a Flash; True Colours

**Representation(s): **Auror Tonks; birthday

**Bonus challenge(s): **Middle Name; Delicious Lie; Second Verse (Not a Lamp); Chorus (Odd Feather); Demo (Odd Feather; White Dress; Creature Feature; Surprise!; In the Trench; Gingersnap)

**Word Count: **755

* * *

_**Shipping Wars**_

**Ship (Team): **Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin (Technicolour Moon)

**List (Prompt): **Spring Big List (Baked Goods)

**A Lack of Cake**

It wasn't so much that _they _had fucked up as the entirety of the Order of the Phoenix had dropped the ball on this one.

It all came down to this: who kept track of everybody in the Order? Molly Weasley. Who, more specifically, kept track of their birthdays? Molly Weasley. Who circulated birthday cards, and did so weeks in advance in order to make sure that everybody had a chance to sign it despite the chaotic schedules Order members lived with? Also Molly. Who brought cake to the last Order meeting before everybody's birthday? Molly Weasley: the same person who _baked _the splendid, multi-layered, custom-flavoured masterpieces in the first place.

So when it was Molly Weasley's birthday… well, nobody was left.

"Fuck," was all that Tonks could say when she bumped into Arthur in the halls of the Ministry and found this out. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Arthur, why didn't you _mention _anything before right now?"

"I knew it was her birthday and _I _took the necessary steps," Arthur said.

Tonks left work early to report this to Sirius and Remus, who were both just as distraught.

"At what time is the meeting tonight?" Remus asked.

"6:00," Sirius said.

It was 5:17 p.m.

"Fuck," he said. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why is it so early today out of all days?"

"No, no," Tonks said. "This is a blessing in disguise! We can turn this into a pizza party, see. A pizza party for Molly's birthday."

"_Perfect," _Remus said. "Oh, that's perfect! Dora, you and I can run out and take care of that. Sirius, is there anything in this house that we can use to decorate?"

"What in the world makes you think this house ever saw happy birthday parties?" Sirius scoffed.

"Okay," Remus said. "We will also get decorations. But you need to clean up this place."

"Cake! Molly needs cake," Tonks chimed in.

"Remus makes a _wonderful _almond cake with this chocolate ganache…"

"With what time am I going to make that, Sirius?"

"We'll get cake," Tonks said. "We just _need _cake to happen."

"Okay, we will make cake happen," Remus said. "But we have to go. Let me get my coat…"

"No time!"

Dora grabbed his hand and bolted out the door.

Pizza was easy: they ran in, ordered a few large pizzas and promised to circle back, and then ran down the store until they reached the grocery store.

"Balloons, go, go, go," Dora they.

They sprinted through the grocery store and sifted through the aisle of random knick-knacks. The only balloons were yellow, which was unfortunately Molly's least-favourite colour but surely they would be able to charm them into a more favourable colour.

"Flowers," Remus said as they darted past the cash register.

"Oh, nice touch!" Tonks said. "Very romantic, M. Lupin."

"I have my ways," Remus said. She smiled at him and he smiled back and _nope—_they did not have time to smile stupidly at each other. Experience had taught Remus that smiling-back-and-forth stupidly could extend for a ridiculous amount of time anyways.

"You pick the flowers," he said before rushing to the bakery section of the grocery store.

His immediate realisation was that the glass window full of cakes and pastries that he had imagined finding was… well, closed.

He looked around, recalculating.

There were baked goods. There were cinnamon buns and cookies lined up politely in plastic containers, pies in cardboard boxes, powdered donuts piled on top of one another, two-bite brownies in paper bags…

"What are you standing around for?" Tonks asked, reaching him again, a bouquet of tulips tucked under her arm.

"We have to pick a baked good, there is no cake," Remus said.

"There is no baked good that is equivalent to cake," Tonks gasped.

"No," Remus said. "But all baked goods together have a chance against cake."

They exchanged glances.

"One of each!" Tonks said.

"That's excessive…"

"This is justice," Tonks said, piling baked goods into her basket.

It was 5:46 and there was still pizza to pick up and Grimmauld Square to get back to, meaning that Remus didn't have time to fight her on this. And so he helped fill their basket.

At the checkout, he became fully aware of how absolutely ridiculous they looked, but Tonks' face was set and determined.

"Having a party?" the cashier asked with a child.

"Yes," Tonks said. "_Exactly!" _

And Remus laughed, and found himself smiling again at her determination and grit and thoughtfulness.

Smiling stupidly, might he add.


End file.
